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Work of Art By Jennifer Walmsley

‘You’ve got to be joking, Clive.’ Melissa glared down an object lying amongst straw.

‘The guy I bought it off  owns Antiques R Us behind The Dog and Duck and he said the artist is well known.’

‘Antiques R Us!’ Melissa raised her voice.   

‘That’s the one. He sells antiques, art and garden furniture.’ Melissa raised a disdainful eyebrow at him and he began to mumbled on in a defensive tone,  ‘He said the artist’s name is Damien something.’ Melissa frowned. ‘Remember he had a dead sheep floating in a tank at some London Gallery?’

‘I remember,’ Melissa said. ‘And what would a man, who deals in house clearance and garden furniture that looks like it’s been nicked from parks, be doing with a piece of expensive art?’ 

‘Ah!’ Clive gave her an anxious smile. ‘A friend of a friend of his did some plastering for this Damien and got paid off with the sculpture.’

‘Is that what you call it?’ Melissa crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Now tell me how much?’

‘It cost an arm and a leg.’ Clive’s expression fell once more. ‘But, it’s an investment, Mel. In a couple of years we can put it up for auction and make a killing.’

‘Tell me, Clive.’ Melissa uncrossed her arms and took a step towards him. ‘Where did you get the money to buy this asset?’

He shrugged. ‘Gave him a cheque.’

‘Not our  holiday money?’

‘I thought you’d be pleased.’ Clive’s face reddened. ‘I mean you collect thimbles!’

‘And what’s that got to do with anything?’

Clive opened his mouth to speak but a sound reached them, a rustling sound and, at their feet, the object poked out four scaly legs and a reptilian head. ‘It’s a bloody tortoise!’ Melissa shouted. ‘The warmth of this room must’ve woken him up from hibernation.’

‘Bloody Hell.’ Clive looked aghast. ‘What will we do with it?’

‘It’s your acquisition. You figure it out.’ Melissa stormed off  but came to a stop in the doorway. ‘But if you return the tortoise,  God knows what will become of him.’

‘It’s a con. I want my money back.’

‘Our money, Clive,’ she reminded him and added with a smile. ‘I always wanted a tortoise when I was a kid.’  And, as she left the room to fetch lettuce and cucumber from the fridge, called out, ‘We’ll call him Damien.’
  
             

Copyright Jennifer Walmsley 2012


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