Brief Encounter at the Embassy Ball By Oonah V Joslin
That was the first time I danced with an alien and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. The creature moved quite gracefully really -- given that it had many more limbs to co-ordinate than me, whilst I was busy enough just trying not to step on anything – vital. I hoped my stiffness wouldn’t be mistaken for distaste. I hadn’t exactly been ‘briefed’ but I couldn’t refuse the invitation – part of the diplomatic remit when you’re embassy staff even if you’re just a secretary. Embassy balls were a perk of the job and since you got a clothes allowance for attending I never missed one.
“Delighted,” I said.
“Do you come here often?” it asked.
“Oh someone has been doing their homework, Ambassador,” I said, smiling rather falsely.
“Call me Breughuoeth.”
I would have if I could’ve mastered the sound.
The creature had a long mellow face, expressionless but benign – very large round eyes, a small mouth, no nose to speak of and just small flaps for ears. It was hairless and smooth textured and its eight limbs of varying sizes seemed always to be in motion. One of these gripped around my waist, another draped itself on my neck, a third floated free to the rhythm of the music, four were engaged in co-ordinating the dance steps.
“You dance very well Amb” I said.
“Breughuoeth – please,” it read my name tag, “SoooozAnn? I insist.”
I quite liked the way it said ‘SoooozAnn’ in that husky, deep tone. Then I felt its free limb – wandering a bit. It went down my spine like a tingle – not an unpleasant sensation – but when it reached the base it began to explore down over my hips and… I’ll swear it was made of elastic.
“BroykHooeth!” I exclaimed disengaging myself as best I could. “Sir!”
Well what can I say? The creature slapped my face and with a quick flip of its antennae, walked off.
“What did you say to it?” asked our own Ambassador Beale.
I related what had taken place. “I suppose I pronounced his name incorrectly,” I said.
Beale laughed.
“I don’t see what’s so funny,” I said. “It was very embarrassing. I hope you can smooth things over. I probably called him an ape’s bottom or something worse.”
“No, it’s not that. You called it ‘Sir’?”
“Oh dear, is ‘sir’ a gross insult in their language?”
“No Susan. You did very well with the pronunciation. It’s just that -- the ambassador is a female!”
Copyright Oonah V Joslin 2012
“Delighted,” I said.
“Do you come here often?” it asked.
“Oh someone has been doing their homework, Ambassador,” I said, smiling rather falsely.
“Call me Breughuoeth.”
I would have if I could’ve mastered the sound.
The creature had a long mellow face, expressionless but benign – very large round eyes, a small mouth, no nose to speak of and just small flaps for ears. It was hairless and smooth textured and its eight limbs of varying sizes seemed always to be in motion. One of these gripped around my waist, another draped itself on my neck, a third floated free to the rhythm of the music, four were engaged in co-ordinating the dance steps.
“You dance very well Amb” I said.
“Breughuoeth – please,” it read my name tag, “SoooozAnn? I insist.”
I quite liked the way it said ‘SoooozAnn’ in that husky, deep tone. Then I felt its free limb – wandering a bit. It went down my spine like a tingle – not an unpleasant sensation – but when it reached the base it began to explore down over my hips and… I’ll swear it was made of elastic.
“BroykHooeth!” I exclaimed disengaging myself as best I could. “Sir!”
Well what can I say? The creature slapped my face and with a quick flip of its antennae, walked off.
“What did you say to it?” asked our own Ambassador Beale.
I related what had taken place. “I suppose I pronounced his name incorrectly,” I said.
Beale laughed.
“I don’t see what’s so funny,” I said. “It was very embarrassing. I hope you can smooth things over. I probably called him an ape’s bottom or something worse.”
“No, it’s not that. You called it ‘Sir’?”
“Oh dear, is ‘sir’ a gross insult in their language?”
“No Susan. You did very well with the pronunciation. It’s just that -- the ambassador is a female!”
Copyright Oonah V Joslin 2012